As of late this has been brought to fruition, to the surface. I’m talking about CHOICE. Not choice as in where are we going to eat out tonight, although that’s a big choice, am I right?
I mean how YOU CHOOSE to view life. Yes, this is some glass half full or glass half empty shit. I found myself in the same spot I was a few weeks prior, actually the same exact scenario that prompted me to write this post in the beginning.
While in a group setting, each person was pointing out their dislikes about their current situation, and almost instantly I was blinded with negativity. It was just a simple discussion about the negatives of everyone’s current 9-5 jobs. I was immediately flooded with frustration because focusing on negatives gets me heated AF (still working on that) but guess what the kicker on this was? It is such a 2-fold slap in the face.
- The discussion was brought up to inspire and empower people to NO LONGER feel miserable at their jobs and work to pursue what they truly love; it was that little nudge to follow their dreams.
- Here comes the sting of the slap – Me, myself and I CHOSE to make that into something it wasn’t; I chose to make that into a negative conversation. The slap in the face is that because I chose to get angry and shut the whole thing, I missed out. I missed out on the drive that could add to pursuing my dreams. See, Choice is a powerful thing my friends.
I’ll just give you some brief back story on why this gets me a touch heated, and it’s a full dose of real talk, I’m calling myself out right here – I get mad/frustrated because I put myself here, in a job I feel less than fulfilled at. Hearing others pretty much confirm that I’m in a shit spot is a hard pill to swallow. But again, I cannot stress this enough – I choose, or chose, to view it that way and make it something it was not.
Now, on the flip side within the past year I had focused solely on MINDSET. Yes, I said it mindset – which if I might add is a constant game, but as this still gets me a in a slight tizzy I quickly realize what’s going on, and I, ‘red light’ come to a complete stop, look both ways and move forward with my glass half full. It’s crazy what you can withhold yourself from when you have a shield on like that, and once its removed, how much brighter than world can be.
So, to bring this train back on track let me declare this loud and clear: no matter what situation you get yourself into in life, it is YOUR choice on how to perceive it. It is your choice on how it will impact you, and it is your choice on how you handle it, no one else. If you view your job as a hell hole, it will be just that. If you view that friend as annoying, they will be just that. It is a conscious choice to be where you are, so you might as well do it with a smile.
Viewing life through a glass is tough, but if you choose that cup to be half full it’s like a super power. Lighter, brighter, rainbows and unicorns, haha I’m kidding, I wish that’s what it was like but to be real, it’s not all cupcakes and butterflies, but it is freeing and liberating. On your terms you choose what can affect you, you choose how the day will play out. How awesome is that? If you make the conscious decision to choose happy, then you will be f-ing happy, and nothing and no one can change that. Like I said – a super power.
Real quick like I want to hop back up a bit: “it’s crazy what you can withhold from yourself when you have a shield on like that, and once its removed, how much brighter than world can be.” That’s some hardcore realness I just laid out for you. Now reflecting, I look back on so many times I chose anger or fear over happy or brave. Don’t get me wrong, those moments have purpose in life, but as a simple reflection there are many times that play like one of those old projectors in my brain and I can see myself doing exactly now what I’m preaching to you all not to do. The ball is in your court – you choose the outcome of things, you choose to see everything in color. If you’re like me, you either know or will start to know how kick ass that is. How kick ass it is to control the outcome for yourself, no matter what anyone else has to say about it. That feeling of being draining by someone’s negativity is gross, literally gross – it makes you feel like the plague, and honestly, it kind of is today’s version of the plague. Instead of being sick like that, choose not to be. Maybe I’m repeating myself but as I’m writing this I just keep getting more and more excited about the endless ways you can bring light and joy into your own life, ON YOUR OWN. So, what I’m saying is take those dark, angry glasses off. CHOOSE to be happy. I’m not saying it’s easy, actually it’s far from it, but it’s sweet like honey and totally worth it. Don’t they all say the best things in life are the ones worth fighting for? (that’s a real quote, right?) Then fight for this.
What I like to do and what I try to do in each blog post is provide the things I do to help actually put this to work in real life. I do that so instead of you reading this, then scrolling through to the next make up tutorial you can actually take it and do it. So, without further ado, here is a rather small in size, big in impact list of ways I do this in the real world:
1- Listen. I put this as number 1 because it’s the hardest for me. No joke when people are talking sometimes I am in the background formulating what I’m going to say next. This just doesn’t work, because by not fully listening and coming up with what you’re going to say will just lump together. Here’s what I mean. If the person talking to you is spewing about their husband’s lack housekeeping skills and how it’s so annoying, most likely your response is going to be one in the same about men and how it drives you nuts that they don’t know how to clean a fork. This does nothing for either of you. The person coming to you for advice only gets confirmation that it’s annoying, and the negative snowball continues for him/her. You’re now sucked into it as well. There are A LOT of scenarios revolving around this.
2- Spin it. Play devil’s advocate. This may annoy the person even more but guess what that’s on them. Stretch is a beautiful thing you can provide for a person. By stretching them to think of that situation a little bit outside of the box then maybe, hopefully, they can work through it. For example:
Lisa – “Janet please tell me you saw that memo Nate sent?”
Janet – “Yes, I did”
Lisa – “Who does he think he is to do that? And why would he in his right mind think that that’s a good decision?”
Janet – “Well here are my thoughts. It took me a bit off guard at first too, not gonna lie, but maybe he sent that to just make us all prepared, and what if he ran that by the boss and we just didn’t know it?”
See, just a little stretch and Lisa might be seeing Nate’s memo a little differently now. Now both of them can move on, glasses full. (Side bar- I’ve always wanted to do a little bit like that in a blog post, so there.)
3- Stay true. Believe it or not, you can still be you, before you get into your perfect career or where you want to be financially. You can still be you surrounded by different people, people who may even challenge you and your values. As stated above it’s hard to do that, there’s no sugar coating here. You can still laugh, and you can still smile, it is all a choice. Choose what is best for you. You will thank yourself in the end for keeping your values and your true self close, even in the face of negativity.
All in all, always remember you have a choice in life. Those times where you feel as if you don’t, you ALWAYS do, go deep within, ask your people, ask whatever you call god, and your choice will become clear.
p.s- I’m writing most of this at my kitchen counter, where I do all my important work, while the rest of the house is sleeping. I’m realizing this more and more that I need to fight harder to frame things as a choice in certain areas in my life. I share this because even though I am the one putting ‘fingers to keys’ and spewing this to you, it doesn’t mean I don’t have to Mike Tyson it myself. We are all a work in progress.